Mindset bros love thinking about their family facing unspeakable horrors. For example, who could forget when Gary Vaynerchuk told an audience member to take five minutes out of every day to pretend one of their family members got shot in the face?

@topbetcoin Gary Vee - make pretend that one of your family members got shot in the face #motivation #garyvee #inspo #inspirational #dreams #hardwork #sucess #moneytok #wealth #success #inspiration #inspirationalvideo #inspirationalspeech ♬ original sound - TopBetCoin

To most, the idea of someone they hold dear getting absolutely obliterated would bring sadness. However, most people don’t have the right Mindset. For a true Mindset Head, every bullet careening through your little sister’s skull is just another reason to get that dropshipping business off the ground. Your father gets hit by a truck? Open a restaurant. Brother gets eaten by a great white shark? Download Robinhood. Mother is mugged while walking home from work? We all know what that means — it’s finally time to invest in Bitcoin.

If this makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have the Mindset that success requires. After all, what these people are saying is totally normal — and if you listen to them, you’ll find that their advice really, actually works! (If you take their word for it, of course).

@officialandyelliott

Put your back against the wall…

♬ Gravity - a2zMP3

Take Andy Elliott. This guy is a sales trainer and motivational speaker who is, like many in this space, super jacked for reasons I don’t quite understand. According to Elliott, if you want to triple your revenue, just imagine that someone kidnapped your family and said they were going to kill them unless you got your numbers up. Boom! Sudden financial success.

@mollz_martini Expert advice from a capitalist #greenscreenvideo #capitalismsucks #leftist #eattherich ♬ original sound - Molly

Now, this may be difficult to implement in a work environment. HR probably won’t appreciate you holding your intern’s family at gunpoint, no matter how many more sales he made that day. But the advice is solid: The only thing holding you back from your full potential is the threat of murder.

So if you’re serious about being successful, don’t do something silly like actually spend time with your family. Instead, imagine that they’re stuck in the house from Saw II, and the only way you can get them out is by subcontracting programming jobs to people in the Philippines.

Soon, you’ll be living the American dream, and your family will be just fine. Hopefully.